Hi.

This is Blahble.

We are a group of free spirited creatives. We are open minded, forward thinking, and provocative.

If you don't like that or can't deal with it, leave this site.

 

Why you should NOT, pay attention to airline safety.

Why you should NOT, pay attention to airline safety.

This is why you should not pay any attention to airline safety.

You're getting comfortable, just pushed play on that movie you have been months to see. You're zoning out and ready for the long flight ahead.

And then, it all goes to shit, your world comes crashing down, your movie is abruptly interrupted by some depressed sounding person mumbling on about safety... blah blah blah fucking blah.

gay flight attendant blowing whistle

Safety procedures on aeroplanes are about as useful as having an ashtray on a bicycle. (There is no fucking point)

Sorry to depress you, but when was the last time someone survived a plane crash? (No movies don't count)

Air travel is a wonderful thing and an essential part of making modern day life possible. But sadly, when it goes wrong it goes horribly wrong. When a plane hits the ground at 800 KM/h, or dives into the Indian Ocean, or spontaneously combusts in mid air (sometimes caused by fuckers shooting missiles at them) there is only one outcome...

Every one turns to deep fried crispy chicken. the end!

sorry.

plane crash rainbow

Back to safety videos, there is no point in rambling on for as long as they do about as much as they do. Having your tray table up and your phone off is not going to save you from the fireball that is a plane crash.

"BREAKING NEWS THIS HOUR, A PLANE HAS JUST EXPLODED IN MID AIR, ALL 159 PASSENGERS ON BOARD ARE CONFIRMED DEAD. EXCEPT KEVIN SITING IN SEAT 35E, BECAUSE HE HAD HIS TRAY TABLE UP, HIS SEAT BELT ON, HIS SEAT UPRIGHT AND WAS IN THE BRACE POSITION. THUS, THE FIRE BALL THAT KILLED EVERYBODY ELSE IN .01 OF A SECOND AMAZINGLY AVOIDED HIM AND HE THEN GENTLY FLOATED TO THE GROUND UNHARMED."

safety is sexy

Hmm.

I'm not saying all of these safety videos are irrelevant, I'm saying 99% of it is irrelevant. All that blabbing away could just be replaced by one sentence...

"SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND DON'T BE A DICK HEAD"

That is honestly all you need to know as a first time traveller.

dog on plane
Dry Spells: What to do when the "magic" isn't happening.

Dry Spells: What to do when the "magic" isn't happening.

Think Like A Tennis Player.

Think Like A Tennis Player.